Gak kerasa sudah lebaran...Well, gak banyak yang aku lakukan saat lebaran... biasanya juga begitu..the same food, same ritual.. nothing's special. Yet, this lebaran is taking off my life into a whole new journey as an individual. Unlike most of the crowd who define their resolution every end of the year. I do define and start my resolution when every other people is starting to go wild with the rendang, ketupat and opor. Because unlike new years with the party, hangover, new-year's kiss, or other hedonical way of celebration, Lebaran brings just a good and proper time for us to evolve or, well revolve.. with the wishes, praying, and forgiving each others. Where else can we find the perfect time for us to be a better person?
I just want to do good, be good, you know what, because im so lucky, yes I am the lucky bastard.. for everything that I've done, I deserve hell bunch of stab right to the heart, or decapitated, or even worse.
Yet, I got all the gift from He -you-know-who- Up There, all the gift that make a million dollar lottery or free cruise to the Caribbean seems pointless. Weird,eh.. Sometimes I got confused with the concept of God.. how come, with every single flaw and mistake we keep doing all the time, He never stop giving us all the things that we need or we ask for? Isn't it beyond our sense? Well, at last, God is called God because the concept of God is beyond our sense, right..:-)
I had this ideal when I was small lil boy back there.. this ideal about what I am gonna be, who I am gonna be, and what or who am I not gonna be.. which is easier to be said at that time, but now when I age, getting older, everything seems blur, there is no absolute right or wrong.. everything is gray. And I becoming a person who a past me would never had imagined before.. If time travelling existed, the Past Me will come to me right now and punch me right to my face, kick my ass, all yelling and swearing.. present me simply said to past me..”well, life is hard kids, this is the reality, eat that..”
Anywho.. let's get back to this, I might not be as good as I wanted to be, or as great as I imagined to be, but life has its own way. I have my ideal now, dealing with the real world, and end up with a dealbreaker.... I just want to be good, simply good. That's it. Am I satisfied? I am..
Happy lebaran guys.. For everything I've done, please do forgive me.. :-)
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